Wizards of the Coast Preparing to Announce New Controversy
RENTON, Wash. — Principal Magic: The Gathering designer, Gavin Verhey has revealed that Wizards of the Coast is set to…
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Johnny Amizich
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Jordan Peterson Breaks Down in Tears After Great Owl Asks “Did You Get All That?”
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Renowned intellectual and brave culture warrior Dr. Jordan Peterson began sobbing uncontrollably when confronted by the question,…
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Borderlands 4 Priced at $80 to Fund Randy Pitchford’s Trip to Magic Camp
FRISCO, Texas. — Facing backlash over the announcement of an $80 price tag for their upcoming game Borderlands 4, Gearbox…
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GamesBeat’s Mike Minotti Wants to Add the First Arby’s to the Register of Historic Places
Mike Minotti is the reviews editor of GamesBeat, frequently appears on Giant Bomb shows and podcasts, and a self admitted…
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Gavin Newsom Interviews Mecha Hitler in Latest Episode of His Podcast
FAIR OAKS, Calif. — California governor Gavin Newsom hosted Mecha Hitler on the latest episode of his “This is Gavin…
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Geoff Keighley Prepared to Replace Pope Francis
LOS ANGELES — Geoff Keighley, head of The Game Awards and Summer Game Fest, is willing to leave it all…
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“Gamers’ Rights” Convention Panel Immediately Devolves Into Fiery Defense of Lolicon
BISMARK, N.D. — A panel titled “Go Woke, I’ll Fucking Kill You” that took place at the first annual “Gamers’…
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Elon Musk’s White House Office Revealed to be Just a Ball Pit
WASHINGTON — The office Elon Musk has been given inside of the second Trump White House is reported to have…
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An Open Letter From America’s CEOs: This is Supposed to Happen to Schoolchildren, Not Us
Dear Parasites, Due to the assassination of Brian “Working Class Hero” Thompson by the coward Luigi Mangione(allegedly) on December 4th,…
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Luigi Mangione Sentenced to 25 Years of United Healthcare Coverage
MINNETONKA, Minn — Luigi Mangione, the alleged shooter of former UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, has been sentenced to 25 years…
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