Study Shows Moving Sliders Around Causes Custom Character Unspeakable Pain
NEW YORK — A startling new scientific study has concluded that playing around with the physical attributes of the character…
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Joe Klein
10 stories found
Is Your Boyfriend Talking to You or the People in His Headset?
Time for another dip into the Hard Drive mailbag! If you have a question for Hard Drive, please send it…
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NYPD Sends Controller to Crime Lab After Officer Loses in Smash Bros
NEW YORK — The NYPD confirmed today that they have launched an official investigation into the controller purchased at a…
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Wizards of the Coast Change ‘Magic: The Gathering’ to Just ‘Magic’ to Encourage Social Distancing
RENTON, Wash. — As the COVID-19 pandemic sweeps the nation, a spokesman for Wizards of the Coast announced today that…
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D&D Player Wears Wire to Game After Friends Insist They Won’t Start a Podcast
BROOKLYN — Local Dungeon Master Brian Goldberg’s most recent Dungeons and Dragons session ended in controversy yesterday, after the 26-year-old…
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How King Henry VIII Became the World’s First Gamer by Rerolling Pregnancy Until He Got a Child With Good Stats
Anyone who has read the Wikipedia page for King Henry VIII knows that he “was King of England from 1509…
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Hard Drive Investigates: Is Darth Maul Red With Black Stripes or Black With Red Stripes?
Ever since George Lucas’s sci-fi epic The Phantom Menace premiered in 1999, Star Wars fans have been obsessed with one…
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Jeff Bezos Visited by Jeff Bezos From Dystopian Future With Urgent Message to Keep Doing What He’s Doing
SEATTLE — Billionaire Jeff Bezos reportedly came face to face with a time-travelling Jeff Bezos from a dystopian future this…
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Man Knocked Out by Agent 47 Starts New Life After Waking Up Next to Chef Outfit
MIAMI — 35-year-old Francisco Guerreros has been living a new life as a chef after a chance encounter with a…
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Man Loses All His Friends After Removing Hat With +3 Charisma
NEW YORK — Local man Nolan Brubaker’s social life is in tatters after the 30-year-old removed his Hat of +3…
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