Hard Drive Staff, Author at Hard Drive

I Am Boycotting Pokémon Sword and Shield Unless It Includes These 1,144 British Themed Pokémon

November 14, 2019

Pokémon Sword and Shield come out tomorrow and I am absolutely furious that there are only 400 Pokémon for me to…

Jeff Kaplan Calmly Explains Why It’s Important to Balance Human Rights With Chinese Money

October 9, 2019

IRVINE, Calif. — Following outcries surrounding Blizzard’s suspension and award termination of a Hearthstone player for making pro-Hong Kong comments,…

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CinemaSins Awards ‘The Godfather’ Record-Breaking 1,759 Sins

September 9, 2019

NASHVILLE — Popular YouTube channel CinemaSins have released their latest video, titled “Everything Wrong With The Godfather in 28 Minutes,”…

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Sunken-Eyed Community Manager Totally Hears What You’re Saying, Will Pass It on to Developers

September 4, 2019

SAN FRANCISCO — Sipping his ninth cup of coffee for the day, Community Manager Benjamin Grant wearily made note of…

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13 Clips From Our Podcast ‘The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Show’

September 1, 2019

HEY PAISANOS! Two of our editors, Mark Roebuck and Jeremy Kaplowitz, have embarked on an incredibly stupid quest to watch and…

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Discord User Accidentally Mutes Self While Using Toilet

August 21, 2019

PHOENIX — A discord user named FrankieStudz made the unforgivable error of muting his microphone while he excused himself to…

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Agent 47 Finds Manhattan Jail Mission Weirdly Easy

August 10, 2019

NEW YORK — During his latest mission to kill and silence noted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein in the Manhattan Correctional Center…

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Ace Watkins is the First Gamer to Run for President of the United States

July 8, 2019

Hard Drive is officially endorsing Ace Watkins for President of the United States. Today he announced his candidacy with the…

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I Refuse to Play Pokémon Sword or Shield Unless They Include These 1,200 British Themed Pokemon

June 14, 2019

Wotwot Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Big Ben Bigger Ben Biggest Ben Double Decker Charizard Horridteth Innit Shakespeer J.R.R. Togepi Aluminiun British Pikachu Hitmonlennon…

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5 Awesome ‘Breath of the Wild’ Recipes to Make While Ganon’s Genocide Rages On

June 8, 2019

Two years after its release, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild remains one of the best games you’re…

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