CORUSCANT — On Tuesday, the self-described reluctant Emperor returned from his tour of the Unknown Regions with news that he’d been gifted a Super-class Star Dreadnought to serve as the Imperial flagship. Officially christened the Executor, the luxury vessel is 19,000 meters long, features 5,000 turbolasers and ion cannons, is manned by a crew of nearly 300,000, and can hold a complement of over 1,000 support ships.
The extravagant flagship raised eyebrows across the Empire when it was unveiled, with many questioning the ethics of receiving such a thing as a gift. Newly-promoted General Garo Kimeln, a spokesman for Lord Darth Vader, assured reporters that there’s nothing nefarious behind the Executor’s acquisition.
“The Empire and previously the Republic have had a long history of receiving diplomatic gifts. This is unrelated to any trade negotiations.”
Some members of the public remain skeptical, like Koobis Neetu of Coruscant who called the gift ‘shady’.
“Emergency powers are given to the guy, the war with the droids suddenly ends, the Jedi turn against the Empire, and now he just comes back from the Unknown Regions with a massive warship?” said Neetu, Rodian father of four, resident of the Uscru Entertainment district and frequent patron of the Outlander Club, speaking on a condition of anonymity, “And they’re calling it a ‘Super Star Destroyer’? Seems like something an evil empire would do.”
Emperor Palpatine also dismissed claims of corruption from his throne room on Coruscant and promised that most of the Imperial Navy’s starships would continue to be built in Imperial space at the Fondor Shipyards.
“We have a great fleet,” Palpatine said, “greatest in the galaxy. Many people are saying this. And listen, with the Jedi still out there, we need our fleet to be stronger than ever. A generous gift from the people of Exegol will save the Empire a lot of credits. Credits we can spend on more important things. Once the Death Star project is complete, I’ll be giving the Executor to Lord Vader.”
We reached out to General Kimeln for further comment on the use of ‘destroyer’ and ‘death’ for names of Imperial vessels, but were informed by the Empire that Kimeln had tragically died of asphyxiation in the line of duty.
