JUNGLE ISLAND — A study released by a team of researchers has confirmed that the inside of a super monkey ball indeed smells strongly of shit.
“Well I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” said one researcher. “You’ve got them running around for hours, bumping into walls, working up a sweat… It’s probably no help that they’re ending up in volcanoes near boiling magma. And, um… I assume there’s no compartment to assist in matters of defecation?”
Another scientist took a whiff and grimaced, pursing her lips and squeezing her nose.
“Regurgitated baby formula… Do they have babies running around in these things?” She was promptly reassured by a member of Monkey Ball staff that the babies were being treated humanely, to which she responded; “You have a level here called “Boiling Pot”, are we to assume that babies are maneuvering courses over a giant container of boiling water?”
After the researchers left, the Monkey Ball staff seemed dubious of their concerns.
“They’re just monkeys bro. Look at ‘em go round and round! It’s funny, ain’t it?” one staffer chortled, kicking a nearby ball containing a juvenile Orangutan down a steep, rocky hill. “My favorite ones are the ones where we just sling ‘em into the air and see where they land. It’s like we got our own little monkey space program.”
Whilst the Monkey Ball facilities have drawn criticism from animal rights activists, they’re also said to be expecting a generous donation any day now from noted monkey enthusiast, Elon Musk.
