May 2025 - Page 5 of 6

Man on Third Attempt of Swiping Hotel Keycard Unaware His Night About To Become Metroidvania

Nik Theorin • May 9, 2025

PHILADELPHIA – A man on the third attempt at swiping a hotel keycard to unlock his newly-purchased room at the…

Nathan Fielder Builds Shadow Moses Island

R. Anthony Mahan • May 9, 2025

UNIMAK ISLAND, Alaska — Shortly after beating Metal Gear Solid for the first time, comedian Nathan Fielder has constructed a…

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Gamer Settles in After Long Day at Work to Watch Game Install Files

Brett McCabe • May 8, 2025

BIGFORK, Mont. — After working a full day shift at his pet food tasting job, resident Bartleby James likes to…

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Team Cherry Hires George R. R. Martin to Help Wrap Up Silksong Development

Nick Coffman • May 8, 2025

ADELAIDE, South Australia — With the finish line for Hollow Knight: Silksong on the horizon, Team Cherry has brought on famed…

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Shigeru Miyamoto Confirms Yoshi has a Cloaca

Brendan Osorio • May 7, 2025

KYOTO, Japan — Surprising news from Nintendo this week as Shigeru Miyamoto has let the world know that yes indeed,…

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Nation’s Antiheroes Announce You Must Be Pretty Desperate To Come To Them For Help

Spenser Willden • May 7, 2025

NIGHT CITY — The nation’s antiheroes convened on a dark rooftop in Night City last Friday to announce that the…

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Hideo Kojima Brings Scanner To MET Gala

Peter Ferrarese • May 6, 2025

NEW YORK — Under the guise of “research” for the sequel to the popular and enigmatic video game Death Stranding,…

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Trans Girl Devastated After Discovering That Estrogen Doesn’t Give You Superhuman Mountain Climbing Abilities

Amity Gilmour • May 6, 2025

VICTORIA, British Columbia — A trans girl looking to climb Mount Celeste was left heartbroken today, after realizing her Estrogen…

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Selection of New Pope Delayed as Cardinals Try to Navigate Ancient Puzzle Room

Peter Cunis • May 6, 2025

VATICAN CITY — Following the passing of Pope Francis, the College of Cardinals have assembled in Vatican City to elect…

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Elon Announces Further Delay in Full Self Awareness

Ted Kindig • May 5, 2025

AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, mascot and “co-founder” of throwback automotive company Tesla, disappointed shareholders yesterday by announcing further delays…

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