Press "Enter" to skip to content

Video Games

September 16, 2021

Gamers Beware: Perverts are Trying to Make the Word ‘Load’ a Sex Thing

Gamers Beware: Perverts are Trying to Make the Word ‘Load’ a Sex Thing

Awful news, Gamers. If you are at work please stop reading immediately because this article may be considered NOT SAFE. Are you home and over…

September 15, 2021

Gamer Doubles Back While Exploring Dungeon to Make Sure He’s on the Wrong Path

Gamer Doubles Back While Exploring Dungeon to Make Sure He’s on the Wrong Path

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local gamer Dominick Parra doubled back through a video game dungeon to make sure he wasn’t accidentally going down the correct path,…

September 15, 2021

‘Mario Party Superstars’ Adds Lifelike AI That Takes Fucking Forever With Their Turn

‘Mario Party Superstars’ Adds Lifelike AI That Takes Fucking Forever With Their Turn

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo confirmed today that Mario Party Superstars will feature computer players with advanced AI that allows them to recreate the experience of…

September 14, 2021

Pokémon Isn’t Shiny, Just Really Inbred

Pokémon Isn’t Shiny, Just Really Inbred

NEW BARK TOWN, Johto — A novice trainer mistook a horrifyingly deformed Pokémon for a rare, naturally occurring Shiny variant, as part of a startling…

September 14, 2021

Lil Nas X Disappointed Met Gala Didn’t Do Enough Damage to Reveal His Final Phase Outfit

Lil Nas X Disappointed Met Gala Didn’t Do Enough Damage to Reveal His Final Phase Outfit

NEW YORK — Rapper Lil Nas X is reportedly disappointed that the Met Gala was unable to defeat his third phase Monday night, allowing him…

September 14, 2021

Opinion: Putting a Black Character in ‘God of War’ Would Be Like Putting a Middle Eastern Character in the Bible

Opinion: Putting a Black Character in ‘God of War’ Would Be Like Putting a Middle Eastern Character in the Bible

If there’s one thing everybody knows about me, it’s that I love realism. Can’t get enough of it. So you can imagine my dismay yesterday,…

September 14, 2021

Waluigi Reluctantly Accepts Invitation to Nickelodeon All-Stars Brawl as Nigel Thornberry Clone

Waluigi Reluctantly Accepts Invitation to Nickelodeon All-Stars Brawl as Nigel Thornberry Clone

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Nintendo fan-favorite character Waluigi has accepted an invitation to Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl as a clone of Nigel Thornberry, finally accepting that he…

September 14, 2021

Racist Without PS5 Announces Boycott of ‘God of War: Ragnarok’

Racist Without PS5 Announces Boycott of ‘God of War: Ragnarok’

LOS ANGELES — A bigoted man who does not own a PlayStation 5 has announced there’s no way he’ll play the newest God of War…

September 13, 2021

Battery Cover for Game Boy Color Has a Lot of Nerve Showing Its Face Here After Skipping Town All Those Years Ago

Battery Cover for Game Boy Color Has a Lot of Nerve Showing Its Face Here After Skipping Town All Those Years Ago

BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — In a tense reunion no one could have predicted, a deadbeat battery cover has reentered the life of a local Game Boy…