AUSTIN — Following allegations of genius, virtuosity, and helping to define the modern video essay as a genre, YouTuber Herbert Medina has formally apologized for a perfectly understandable gap between uploads, sources confirmed.
“I’m heartbroken to announce my analysis of Animal the Muppet’s drum solo at Fozziwig’s Christmas party in The Muppet Christmas Carol probably won’t be out in November as planned,” Medina said in a series of X posts. “Although I devoted every waking moment of the past ten months to research and writing, I spent too much time eating and sleeping. I was selfish. I’m truly sorry for all the pain and boredom my actions have caused.”
“It’s time to come clean and take responsibility. The script is 40,000 words long. Yes, it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever written. Yes, Brian Henson wept when he read it. But that’s still no excuse for starving my fans of high quality content.”
Medina went on to confess other sins including taking too many bathroom breaks and never making a video about that one thing he mentioned that one time.
“Many true masters throughout history have held themselves to impossibly high standards,” explained Dr. Irene Hooper, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Illinois. “Virgil, Stanley Kubrick, Georgia O’Keeffe—all people who were never truly satisfied with their own work, no matter how much praise it garnered from others. That being said, I really hope the Animal video is at least three hours long. It’ll probably be the only thing he uploads this year.”
Medina ended his apology with a list of specific ways he plans to do better in the future. “I made a deal with Chronos, Lord and Master of Time, to give me six extra hours a day to work. In exchange, when I die, I will take his place to turn the zodiac wheel for all eternity. I also started drinking more water.”
At press time, Medina was recording voiceover.
