BRIGHT FALLS, Wash. — Thousands are dead and untold amounts injured after the announcement of a new novel by Alan Wake, sources confirmed.
According to reports on the ground, carnage and chaos befell the innocent residents of Bright Falls as many of them became possessed by some sort of dark presence, causing them to violently attack one another. The violence soon spread to surrounding towns. It wasn’t long before it became clear what was happening.
Wake, author of the bestselling Alex Casey series of crime novels announced he was working on a new book, an as-yet-unnamed supernatural action thriller. Much like Wake’s other recent novels Departure and Initiation, the events of the book seem to mirror the real-life terror eerily.
“Alan has a gift and it would be irresponsible of him not to share that gift with the world,” said Barry Wheeler, Alan’s literary agent. “Is it a shame that sometimes the things he writes manifest into reality? Sure it is, I mean that’s fewer people who can buy the book but at the end of the day they can always be brought back for a sequel. Provided this one sells enough to warrant a sequel that is.”
When asked to comment on his feelings towards a tragedy of his own making, Alan Wake had this to say.
“When I write I enter into a different zone. One where logic is ever-shifting and it’s my job to settle that shifting until it makes sense. I was in a dark place once, and perhaps I still am but no matter what only I can write my way out. It began with a dream and in that dream was a lake and in that lake was a spiral which was an ocean in a loop.”
“No comment,” added Wheeler when asked to translate.
Unpossessed citizens of the community reacted in starkly different ways to the newly unleashed horror Wake unleashed upon them.
“The man is a menace with a typewriter,” said one Bright Falls resident.
“I’m just happy that whatever Wake does it’ll probably lead to a new Old Gods of Asgard song being released,” claimed another.
At press time the area is currently being cordoned off by the Federal Bureau of Control. Wake himself was last seen practicing what appeared to be a choreographed dance routine.
