MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Target graphic designer Evan Franklin has been working late nights, trying to come up with a fourth video game to put on a t-shirt.
“Thinking of gamer tees is the hardest part of the job,” said Franklin from his office, surrounded by whiteboards with the names Mario, Zelda, and Sonic, all crossed off. “It’s not like they’re Disney movies, or weird niche restaurants from TV shows, where there are a million options. I mean, how many video games could there even be?”
“I thought I had a breakthrough last week,” Franklin explained, “but it turns out Link is just boy Zelda and now we’re back to square one.”
Gamers have long complained about the slim selection of gamer-themed merchandise at the retail chain, but they have recently become more outspoken.
“You mean to tell me they can have entire racks of ‘The Office’ and Metallica tees, but we have to settle for the same N64 characters on all our t-shirts? That’s just not right,” complained lifelong gamer and Target customer Mac Marsh. “Slap an indie game or two on there. Please. We’re not asking for much here.”
In response, Target has promised to improve their selection, as soon as they are able to find at least one new video game.
“We here at Target try our hardest to represent all fandoms, and we understand the lack of video games represented in our apparel,” said Mia Dorsey, Target’s Head of Product Development. “Rest assured, we have our best minds on the case, looking for evidence of any video game released this century.”
As of press time, Target has announced a t-shirt depicting the dinosaur from the game Google Chrome presents when there is no internet connection.
