LIVING ROOM – The other PS4 controller may be charged, wherever the hell it is, a desperate report confirmed today.
“You bought an extra one just for situations like these when people come over, so surely it is charged and in an easy to find location,” the report, read aloud in your mind, confirmed. “Check the charging dock, which you certainly did not forget to re-plugin after you needed an extra outlet for something else.”
Despite this report, sources on the ground later confirmed the controller in question, needed to fire up a game of Tricky Towers or Super Monkey Ball with visiting friends, was not charged.
“Perhaps you could use a wired connection,” a follow up report, issued immediately after the first was proven false, said. “Check the entertainment center, where you certainly did not forget to carefully coil and store the correct type of USB cord needed to connect your controller to the PS4.”
Sources on the ground later confirmed the cord in question was not in the correct location, calling into question the veracity of any report from this source, who seems quite worried they will be a bad host if they can’t figure this stuff out and someone has to sit to the side and watch others play Super Monkey Ball.
PlayStation device designer Mike Howard was not surprised when the context of both reports were shown to him.
“The PS4 controller was perfectly designed to slip into any small, hidden corner of our customer’s house. Under certain temperatures it can actually disappear completely,” Howard said pridefully. “Ontop of the 1-hour battery life and rubber that falls off of the right and left joysticks, we felt this was the ideal design for gamers everywhere.”
At press time, a visiting friend was seen politely using an almost-dead controller still awkwardly plugged into a charging dock.
