In this day and age it’s tougher than ever to make sure kids are eating enough. Mama’s everywhere are in a constant battle to fill their kids tummy’s. Between picky eaters and a whole array of food allergies it’s tough to make sure kids are getting the volume of food they need. But this cooking mama has a little secret to pack some extra volume into practically any meal, Sawdust! So for all those other busy Mama’s out there here are some great Cooking Mama recipes, specially rated based on how much sawdust you can hide in them.
Boiled Egg – 1/10
Perhaps one day Scientists will crack how to fit sawdust into a boiled egg. Until that day the rest of us wait with bated breath. For those with especially foolish children you may replace Salt and Pepper with Sawdust and see if the kid says anything.
Miso Soup – 2/10
Good for a pinch here and there but add too much and it becomes more of a porridge. For those with a little wood glue lying around, feel free to gather some sawdust and mold it into cubes. Your kids didn’t like Tofu before and they still don’t.
Grilled Mackerel – 3/10
Stuffing the fish with too much Sawdust is what killed it in the first place. Add too much post mortem and you risk it bursting into flames during grilling. That being said, if combustion can be avoided the Sawdust soaks up a decent amount of oil during cooking and keeps meat flakey and succulent.
Egg Grilled Sunny Side Up – 3/10
Lots of plate space hidden underneath the egg. Place the egg over a bed of Sawdust and they’ll be none the wiser. Once that yolk is broken and making a mess they’ll be glad the Sawdust is there to soak it all up.
Fried Rice – 3/10
Just a pile of Sawdust. Really fifty-fifty on this one they’ll either love it or hate it. If they start asking questions just tell them it’s been in the fridge for a while. If they keep pressing the point, burst into tears and ask what you did to make them hate you. That should throw them off your scent.
Stuffed Peppers – 4/10
Stuffed with what? You guessed it, Sawdust! Really play around with this one, it seems simple but there’s a world of opportunity. Sure the Sawdust is a necessity but what kind of pepper? The world is your oyster (Provided it’s an oyster made of Sawdust).
Japanese Hamburg Steak – 5/10
With all the Vegan meat alternatives currently out on the market why not add this horse to the race? This tender delicious Steak is completely Sawdust. Add a sprinkling on top for garnish and this is a dish fit for a Michelin star (back when Michelin only sold tires).
Croquette – 6/10
French cuisine is especially well suited for Sawdust adaptations, and this dish is proof. A traditional Croquette is a roll of meat, vegetables or fish covered in breadcrumbs and fried. This play on the Croquette is a roll of Sawdust covered in Sawdust and fried. Garnish with Iceberg lettuce if desired.
Spaghetti Neapolitan – 6/10
Spaghetti can be tough. Add too much Sawdust and the texture is evident, add to little and what are we doing here? If you do end up adding too much, tell your child “that’s just how they eat it in Neapolita.” and “who are we to question the ways of the noble Neapolitans?”.
Rice Cakes – 7/10
Another pile of Sawdust but this time really emphasizes the “cake” part of it. Your kids may be a little confused at first but if you take a couple of fake bites and act like it tastes really good they’ll get jealous and snatch them right out of your hands.
Fried Gyoza – 8/10
You may think that only the filling of these delectable Fried Gyoza is Sawdust but think again. For our recipe we’ll be making our own Gyoza wrapper from scratch using water and Sawdust. With a wrapper and filling of Sawdust your kids will be full after just a handful.
Rice Gratin – 9/10
A full casserole dish of Sawdust. For added flair, toss it under the broiler for a few minutes to give a golden brown crust. A home chief with a little extra cash to burn can invest in a Kitchen Torch to expedite this process and hit fat dabs after dinner.
Sandwich 10/10
It’s just the way your mother used to make it. Feel the history of generations in your hands as you compress Sawdust into two squares for bread. Proteins, Vegetables, Cheeses, and Condiments can all eventually be replaced with additional Sawdust with enough experimentation.
Instant Ramen 10/10
For those nights where you just don’t have the energy, this is a quick and easy way to get your kids to eat a styrofoam cup of Sawdust. They’ll be so surprised your face is on the cup they won’t really look at what’s inside.
Vegetable Curry – 10/10
A staple of Sawdust cuisine. Mix well seasoned Sawdust with water for your curry base, add additional Sawdust to thicken. With some chunks of Sawdust cooked until tender and a side of White Sawdust your kids will be licking those plates clean. Make in large batches and you could have Sawdust for the whole week.
