I have seen much injustice in my short lifetime, but it feels like more than ever we are being screwed over left and right by the powers that be. We are at a pivotal moment in history, where our actions (and more importantly, our inactions) will have a detrimental effect on our livelihoods.
That’s why I stand before you, mother, and implore you to stand on the right side of history because it’s absolute bullshit that you won’t buy me a Switch 2 even after telling you Kevin’s mom bought him one.
This is abject cruelty! Kevin had worse grades than me and he was suspended for pantsing the principal at the pep rally, yet his mom still looked past that and got him one. You know what kind of parent does that? A cool one. And right now you are giving major loser energy which is going to become hereditary if that dipshit is playing Mario Kart World before I am.
OH MY GOD MOM THE SWITCH AND SWITCH 2 ARE NOT THE SAME THING. Did you even watch the Nintendo Direct from March? I sent you the video six times. I’m starting to think you’re completely out of touch with what’s going on. In just a few hours I’m going to be sitting on old tech while Kevin is going to be streaming Cyberpunk 2077 from his bedroom because he’s also allowed to play mature games. Yes, I know that it’s $500 but I have no concept of money and last time I checked being able to buy me stuff was your problem.
I didn’t want to be that kid but you’ve forced my hand. I spoke to grandma yesterday and she told me a very interesting story about how you broke her balls over getting you a Wii because Sarah Kensington down the street had one. So the fact you won’t help me level the playing field against Kevin is wildy hypocritical. How does it feel to become the very thing you hated?
Listen, I’m going to be more than fair here and let you make this my birthday and Christmas present if that’s what it takes. Your negligence is going to drive all the neighborhood kids going to Kevin’s house and I’ll end up a social outcast. Plus his mom lets his friends drink!
Do the right thing. You know you want to play Donkey Kong Bananza too.
