SPACE — After the tragic loss of their coworker Steve, employees at the Company from the indie surprise hit game Lethal Company honored him the best way they knew how– by pulling his dental crowns to sell as scrap.
“I worked with Stephen for three weeks, which is a long time at the Company,” said Bob, Steve’s crewmate and coworker. “I would say it’s shocking that he’s gone, but I mean, they don’t call it ‘Lethal Company’ for nothing. Great guy. Always dancing. He loved to run around and point at everything he saw. Creatures, scrap, rocks, us, whatever. I think he just liked the act of pointing over anything else. In the end that’s what did him in. He was pointing at a Bracken. Everyone knows you look, then look away. Look, then look away. But he just had to keep pointing. I tried to get his attention but by then it was too late. The thing snapped his neck and dragged him off.”
Steve’s coworkers immediately went about the business of retrieving his body.
“Yeah, getting Stan back was a real pain,” said Steve’s other coworker, Mary. “Bracken drug his dead ass as far away from the exit as it could. Almost got my own neck snapped in the process. Had to drop this really nice lamp just to be able to pick him up, too. The Company charges us for missing coworkers as loss of company property, so we had to get him.”
Steve’s coworkers brought his body to their ship, where they proceeded to yank the dental crowns from his teeth in order to sell them as scrap.
“Look, we were one day out from the deadline to meet our quota,” said Jeff, Steve’s third and final coworker. “It was getting late, so we couldn’t go back in. We had to do something, and I remembered Stuart talking about this dentist appointment he had to go to a couple days before, so we dug out those crowns before the rigor mortis sealed his jaw shut. It’s what he would have wanted, I’m sure. Scrap is the nature of the business, after all.”
Steve’s body was brought back to the Company, and his coworkers (barely) made their quota. Upon following up with Steve’s coworkers, they were in good spirits, as a new employee had taken Steve’s place.
“He’s got a glass eye and a gold tooth,” said Mary, happily. “We send him to check if the turrets are still active. They always are. Maybe this time we’ll be able to get a shower. No, I don’t know what his name is.”
