Hey man, listen. I don’t know who raised you, but if they taught you that you can just leave your Honda Fit on these streets without a permit, they sure as shit didn’t teach you right. Where did you grow up, anyway? Nevermind, it doesn’t matter. You’re in Wood Oak City now. This place may have been completely overrun by a crime syndicate, but that doesn’t mean you can park wherever you please. I advise you to move your car, lest you end up with a ticket. Mr. X is surprisingly strict when it comes to that sort of thing.
And anyway, you wouldn’t want to be parked right in front of that bar. Things have gotten a little chaotic in there ever since Electra entered, and her goons have been hovering outside. I’d be especially worried about Signal, because he doesn’t appear to have respect for other people’s property, and if I’m being completely honest, I think he’s on PCP. Maybe some ex-cops who are fed up with the syndicate’s reign of terror will storm through, beating up all the hooligans and eventually defeating Mr. X before escaping to safety in a helicopter, but for now I’d recommend parking elsewhere.
At any rate, what made you want to visit Wood Oak City? Oh, you wanted to play the Bare Knuckle arcade game? Good luck. A bald guy and a mohawked guy have been at those things all day, and there’s like, dozens of each of them for some reason. Just make sure you pick up one of those lead pipes or hand grenades lying around so you can defend yourself. They don’t appear to take kindly to interruptions, and they’ll resort to violence at the drop of a hat. Seriously, it doesn’t matter how polite you are, those dudes are all id.
Back to the parking situation. I’m willing to cut you some slack just this once, because it’s your first time here, but if you decide you want to come back, you’re going to need a permit. You’ll have to go to City Hall to fill out the paperwork. Just hang a right after the bodybuilder looking guy with the huge bulge and the other guy who’s inexplicably flying around on a jetpack. Once you see the people in suits who look like they’re in the Secret Service, you’ll know you’re headed in the right direction. You might want to eat any apples or entire cooked chickens you come across, because you’re definitely going to get stabbed at least once, and there’s literally nowhere in this city to receive healthcare. Good luck. You’re going to need it!
