Nintendo has officially announced the Nintendo Switch 2. While the announcement had essentially no details whatsoever other than what it looks like and that it exists, gaming publication Kotaku has you covered. Despite Nintendo not revealing any concrete details about the console until April, Kotaku already has various scoops on how emulation of the machine will work. Here’s everything they know about Switch 2 piracy.
Metroid Prime 4 Will Run Great on PC Days Ahead of Launch
The long awaited fourth installment in the Metroid Prime series is sure to be a flagship title for the Switch 2. Nintendo will no doubt be looking at the game’s sales figures to determine the future of the franchise. But fear not because Kotaku already knows that the game will run great on PC before it’s official launch and they’ll be happy to tell you. Not only will this save you money by not having to buy the game but it will save Nintendo money by not having to make another one.
Nintendo Will Be Really Cold Towards Them for Some Reason
It’s quite strange. Nintendo must hate journalism.
All of Their Review Copies Will Be Given to Them by a Shady Guy Named Declan
All of Kotaku’s Nintendo Switch 2 review codes will be provided on the dark web by a man named Declan who’s only official job title is “Guy Who Gets Things”. They will of course all be for the Steam Deck.
It Won’t Be As Easy to Mod as a 3DS
While the 3DS is surprisingly easy to mod, the Switch 2 will be much more complicated. But don’t worry, that’s why Kotaku will publish an easy to read step by step guide on launch day so you can hack your Switch 2 like a pro on day 1.
The Exact Amount of Lawyers Who Will Laugh at You Before One Finally Says Maybe
It turns out most lawyers have heard of Nintendo and most lawyers don’t take cases that spell certain doom. But if you find the right mini mall, you may just find a lawyer willing to give it a shot.
It Will Play Custer’s Revenge
Not natively of course but they will be more than happy to tell you how to get it up and running.
The Plot to the Next Zelda Game Which They Won’t Get a Press Copy Of
While it’s still deep in development and nowhere close to being announced Kotaku has already secured plot information on the next Zelda game despite being guaranteed to not receive a press copy of it from Nintendo. They’ll be playing it early on their PC thanks to Declan and will be glad to tell you everything that happens before the game comes out.
Miyamoto Will Personally Bury Your Battered Corpse in the Caves He Explored as a Youth
They speak from experience. RIP young Kotaku writers.
