DALLAS — Just in time for Christmas, Texas Instruments CEO Haviv “Texas Toast” Ilan took to X to announce the upcoming HD Remake of the classic scientific calculator known as the TI-83, much to the elation of calculator enthusiasts around the world.
“We’re excited to revisit this classic so that a new generation can experience it for themselves,” announced Ilan, “Our development team has been hard at work upgrading the graphics by adding a third color. For those of you who crave the nostalgia of the original, you can switch back over to the greenish-gray and black scheme you remember from your glory days.”
Ilan followed up his post by describing some of the features that would be included in the HD Remake of the TI-83 (which fans are already calling “TI-83.5”).
“The HD Remake includes a museum section where you can look at all of the old manuals and advertisements for the TI-83’s 1996, 1999, and 2001 releases,” Ilan’s post continues, “And we’ve included social media functionality too, so you can share all of the sines and cosines you make with your friends. You can even challenge them to beat your high score in that terrible version of Mario that only one kid in high school knew how to install.”
However, while the response on social media has been largely positive, some prominent content creators have made videos criticizing the upcoming release.
“First of all, it’s absolutely insane that they’re remaking the TI-83 before the TI-82,” said calculator vlogger MathMatrixPromVarsClear in his latest video, “The TI-83 HD Remake Is BULLSHIT.” “We’ve seen this sort of so-called ‘remake’ from the calculator industry before, and it’s proof that they’re all just out of touch with the community. We don’t want tooltips for the weird buttons that tell us how to use them. We want to stare at all the weird little buttons on our calculators and just imagine what happens if we push that one that says MATRIX.”
The TI-83 HD Remake will release in x years, where x = 3x^(2 + 17.32x) ÷ (∑(i=27)^32 (i^2)x + 18.2313^27.23x + 23y.
