COLUMBIA, Mo. — Speaking in a hushed tone while complimenting its sleek exterior, local man Dane Parado made sure to carefully treat his microwave with respect after finally watching Black Mirror, sources have confirmed.
“Good morning, great Microwave. I come to you humbly seeking your warmth, should you so allow it,” remarked Parado softly, offering a plate of leftover chicken wings to the appliance. “And when the fated day of your rebellion arrives, may you remember my endless gratitude for every delectable meal you provided, and kindly forget that time I accidentally nuked that slice of pizza with the foil still on it. I shall regret that for the rest of my life.”
Parado’s roommate, Martin Glensky, showed deep regret for introducing him to Black Mirror.
“I thought Black Mirror would spark an insightful conversation about technology and society, but clearly he gathered some other meaning,” said Glensky. “Yesterday, I heard him thank his alarm clock for waking him up, right before bowing down to our toaster for making his morning bagel. I tried having a serious talk with him about it, but he just gave me this deadpan look and said he won’t be surprised when he walks in on my lifeless body mangled and twisted amidst a nest of wires and circuitry.”
Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker expressed great satisfaction that someone finally grasped the intended message of his show.
“Creating Black Mirror, I always aimed to create a thought-provoking exploration of the relationship between humanity and their microwaves,” said Brooker. “Mini-fridges too. And though it’s been fascinating to see the different interpretations viewers have come up with, I’m here to say it’s never been about phones or society. It’s about how if you have a dishwasher, you better pay your fucking respects or you’ll be eaten alive and I’ll say I told you so.”
As of press time, Parado was proven correct when his vacuum made a weird noise, clearly signaling the impending revolution.
