CUPERTINO, Calif. — Following the swift public mockery regarding the cost of their spatial computing goggles introduced earlier this week, Apple announced today that they’re gonna be able to knock a hundred bucks off that price for you.
“Okay, they don’t always let us do this,” began a video address from Apple CEO Tim Cook released earlier today. “But I talked to some of the fellas in the back, and they said since you guys have always been cool, they’re gonna let me go ahead and go down to 34 hundred, just this once. I can’t believe it, honestly. What a great deal.”
The Vision Pro was unveiled earlier this week, a mixed-reality headset that releases early next year and boasts a price tag much higher than a lot of early estimates were anticipating.
“I think we were all ready for it to be a thousand or two,” said John Durand, a disappointed Apple fan that watched today’s surprise showcase. “But when they said they’re ‘starting’ at $3500, I just realized I’ll never ever have one of those. It actually made it kind of nice, as opposed to wondering if I should buy the cool looking thousand dollar rig that’s coming out, you know? I like reading emails the size of my living room as much as the next guy, but I think I might wait until the price comes down to less than what I make in a month. That hundred they knocked off is pretty tempting, though.”
As of press time, Cook had sweetened the deal further, and announced that all purchases of Vision Pro headsets will include a few extra Apple stickers.
