CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple announced a highly anticipated new virtual reality headset during today’s Worldwide Developers Conference, as well as showcasing the product’s killer app; a program that makes it look exactly like you’re drinking a glass of beer.
“Whoa, look at that shit!” gasped one fan in attendance, after witnessing Apple CEO Tim Cook don the new headset and display its digital ale consuming capabilities. “Both people have to be wearing these three thousand dollar headsets, but if you are, it looks exactly like one of you picks up a full beer and gulps it right down. Incredible! At first I wasn’t sure why anyone would need or want one of these, but this changes everything. Who do I give my three grand to?”
The app, VRBeer, mirrors a popular first wave iPhone app, iBeer, that also mimicked the action of drinking a beer, albeit in a primitive, two dimensional manner.
“This pretending to drink a beer app blows that old one out of the water,” said Cook, addressing the large crowd. “I can’t believe we used to laugh our tits off at that iPhone one. It’s like looking at black and white television now. But as always, Apple is innovating and leading the charge towards the future. We think Apple’s new headset will be the most superior one on the market, by far. Try drinking a big ass beer inside Zuckerberg’s Metaverse, see what happens.”
As of press time, Apple also announced that video games would soon be coming to Mac computers.
