There are few choices more important in a gamer’s life than picking the tattoos on a create-a-character screen. Diablo IV is no exception. But when making that choice we wanted to arm Hard Drive readers with a picture of every tattoo available in Diablo 4 (at least to barbarians) and also help them understand how hard it might be to explain their new ink if they had it in real life.
Here is every Diablo IV tattoo ranked by how hard it would be for the type of person who has it to explain it in real life, starting with the easiest.
#21 — The Johnson
This one is extremely easy to explain by just saying “I am The Rock’s cousin.” You could possibly follow that up by explaining how your time at the WWE performance center is going, and what you think of AEW vs WWE.
#20 — The Sketchy ‘Patriot’
“It’s actually not a Nazi symbol. It’s an ancient peace symbol… and yes I believe there is an invasion at the southern border — but those are two separate issues.”
#19 — Gen X
“Bro, whatever, it’s sick and your sister likes it.”
#18 — The Super Fan
“I acknowledge Roman Reigns as the head of the table, the tribal chief, and the leader of the bloodline. I acknowledge him and his historic 1039 day reign as WWE Universal champion.”
#17 — People’s Champ
In real life there are a lot of easy explanations for this tattoo. It could be cultural, or, you could simply believe that FINALLY The Rock HAS COME BACK to Diablo IV.
#16 — MMA Fighter
If you asked this guy to explain his tattoo he would respond, “My game plan is the same as every fight. I’m going to go in there and dictate the pace, and fight my fight. I think his striking is weak and this weekend I’m going to expose that.”
#15 — The Follower
“Oh my markings? You should come visit the campus. You haven’t felt welcoming love until you’ve been hugged by our father. He is such a great teacher and leader. We do yoga every sunrise and sunset.”
#14 — Anthropologist
This guy spent a few years in the jungle studying native tribes but was super annoying the whole time acting like he was in Pokemon Snap so the tribe told him he had to participate in a very special tattoo ceremony to symbolize a group of men becoming one hunting party, but then wrote “dork” on him.
#13 — Child’s Play
This guy would explain the symbol on his chest comes from his favorite character in a show primarily targeted at children he watches. It’s actually somewhat incorrectly drawn but he is too muscular and intimidating to correct. Whatever you say goes, big guy!
#12 — Swirls
This is not a tattoo. These are swirls of some substance that has been applied and caked on to the body of a true madman. He offers no explanation, and after one glance into his cold dead eyes you’d decide not to push for one.
#11 — Surprisingly Friendly Guy
“Oh these? I just thought they looked cool! It’s so cool you came out to the show man. Great to see you. We’re all going to this great Vegan place after, you should join us. The more the merrier! Thank you so much for coming.”
#10 — The Saver
Simply put, this guy is saving up to finish a full body piece of a SICK tiger. Honestly, he relates a lot to tigers. They are strong, they are killers, and they are tigers. He’s a tiger. They are tigers and he’s a tiger. So he’s saving up to finish a big tiger on his chest. Yes, there is going to be some arrows through the tiger, but he also feels like he has some arrows through his heart sometimes too 🙁
#9 — The Hypochondriac
“The big one on my chest, that’s a surgery cover up scar for a spinal replacement I’m probably going to need to get sometime soon if the like 15 diseases I have in my back don’t heal up. And the arms, that’s because I swear I broke both of my arms carrying all of the groceries in one trip and need to get them replaced with steel rods.”
#8 — Prepper Who Thinks He Was Already Proven Right
You see this guy pop up on your Ring doorbell camera in the middle of the night digging through your trash cans. He’s got a full prepper backpack on with several weapons in tow. You don’t know it, but he’s been living in the sewers underneath your house ever since “the event.” It’s a post-apocalypse movie for him already and those tattoos are homemade. There will be no explanation given as you are already “contaminated.”
#7 — Bad Poet
“Tick tock, tick tock
The scales of time weigh us all
until and when
The hammer of justice falls”
#6 — Back Tattoo?
This appears to be a back tattoo, but you’re unable to ask for an explanation because this guy never turns his back on a potential threat.
#5 — Sworn to Silence
“The group I was a part of, we all got these tattoos. But I cannot tell you where, when, what group, or why. HOO-rah!”
#4 — Time to explain
“Oh these? I got them ONE SEVEN FOUR back when I was SIX EIGHT traveling in ELEVEN ELEVEN ELEVEN ELEVEN ELEVEN traveling in Asia. They mean FOUR NINE NINE a lot to FOUR NINE NINE me.”
#3 — The Son In Law
“I do respect you, and I do respect your home. But your daughter and I have a very physical relationship, sir. Each mark is a memory of a time we spent exploring each other’s or another couple’s bodies. A time I’ll never forget. So if it’s ok with you, why don’t you just let us sleep in the same room tonight so I can add a couple more if you know what I’m saying.”
#2 — Depressed Man
“I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to be attached to permanently.”
#1 — Danger
There is simply no explaining this one. If you see someone with these tattoos in real life, you need to turn and run as fast as you can. No one with crudely drawn snakes all over their body without any sense of artistic styling is going to improve your life by being within striking distance of you.
