Baldur’s Gate 3 just won Game of The Year at the 2023 Game Awards, and while many players are enjoying the traditional RPG, others may not be used to the rules and characters of Dungeons & Dragons. If you’re thinking of checking the game out but are unsure what to do, here are some tips for getting started in Baldur’s Gate 3!
Turn On Your PC
Fucking duh. Idiot.
Bid Farewell to Your Friends and Family
You don’t need them anymore.
Watch the 2007 Thriller Film ‘Michael Clayton’ Starring George Clooney
While it won’t give you any tips or strategy for the game, it’s just something everyone should do
Fully Romance Yourself
In Baldur’s Gate’s complex romance options, the game stresses that you cannot learn to love a companion or NPC before you learn to love yourself. Be sure to affirm yourself before every quest and become more accepting of you own reflection with every level up.
Diaper Up
You won’t max out your entire party if you have to walk all the way down the hall to defecate
If You Get Stuck, Have A Full-On Fucking Breakdown
The game isn’t always easy, so remember that if you’re struggling to launch into a depressive spiral wondering if the game is fun, if games in general are fun, if everyone in your life hates you, and if anyone would even care if you disappeared.
Take A Shower
If we tell you this gives you +1 Dexterity, will you do it?
Explore the Tea-Making Skill Tree
Many beginners will hit a wall later in the game due to an under leveled Chamomile stat
Start A Roth IRA Account
No matter what class or morality path you choose, it’s never too early to start saving for your party’s retirement
Don a Sensible Cardigan
Though they’ll be conquering perilous dungeons and vanquishing lethal foes, make sure your party can be comfortable yet fashionable with a light wool button-up sweater.
Play ‘Baldur’s Gate 2’ In-Game
Upon progressing to a certain point in the game, your party can build a bespoke PC gaming rig to settle down from a busy day questing with a few hours of Baldur’s Gate 2.
