CULVER CITY, Calif. — A man who has spent the weekend bingeing a British game show he found on YouTube is on the cusp of figuring out how the tournament structure works, sources have confirmed.
“So we’re in the losers bracket of the second round” said marketing consultant Zach Cohen, whilst watching his fifth Exact Estimate episode of the day. “They need to win this match or they’re out, unless they’re one of the four highest scoring loser teams, then they can lose another match to get into the wildcard bracket. I think.”
When asked for clarification regarding what stage of the tournament we were currently in, the clearly exhausted marketing consultant seemed to have lost confidence in his theory.
“Oh wait hang on, how are the Crossstitchers back? They’ve lost like three episodes in a row now. Why are they playing the Sous Chefs?! Those guys won last season, they shouldn’t even be here! I’m going to have to draw this diagram out all over again.”
Speaking to reporters from a secure location, Jemima Fishwick, Mr. Cohen’s roommate, said Zach’s newfound obsession with a show he barely understands has alienated him from his friends and family.
“I think he’s hoping it will make him appear smart if he can grasp whatever the hell is going on. Like he’ll absorb the intellect and we’ll all be impressed with him for watching a fucking TV show” said Fishwick, applying a nicotine patch. “If I hear that jaunty little theme tune one more time I swear I’m going to start smoking again.”
As of press time, Ms. Fishwick has moved out of their shared apartment, and Mr. Cohen has become a moderator on the r/exactestimate subreddit.
