LOS GATOS, Calif. — A local man has proudly canceled his Netflix subscription, saying he can no longer in good conscience support a corporation that treats its writers and actors so unfairly and doesn’t even have The Office anymore, sources have confirmed.
“Between systematically manipulating and exploiting their creative workforce and no longer having my favorite sitcom available to stream, I can no longer support Netflix,” said longtime Netflix subscriber Jack Burkhardt, joining striking SAG-AFTRA and WAG members on the picket line outside of the corporation’s headquarters. “Writers, actors, and viewers all deserve fair compensation! Why are my rates going up and the level of content going down? Why does CEO Ted Sarandos get an eight figure salary while the stars of his shows are living off of pathetic residual checks? Why did Michael leave after season seven? These questions all deserve answers, and shame on Netflix for not providing them.”
Burkhardt’s wife supported the cost cutting measure.
“I will miss being able to throw Seinfeld reruns on easily, but I think we’ll be okay without Netflix,” said Jennifer Burkhardt, Jack’s wife. “On top of not wanting to contradict Jack when he gets in one of his moods, I’m sure I’ll be able to find something to watch on Peacock, Hulu, Max, Disney+, Paramount+, PlutoTV, or Tubi. And if all else fails, they still show Seinfeld reruns on one of the local channels every night. So yeah, fine by me if we no longer pay 20 bucks a month to keep watching the same three seasons in the middle when it got really good. Why don’t we just buy the DVD’s or something?”
As of press time, when asked if it had been pretty hard to cancel his subscription, Burkhardt replied “That’s what she said!” and ran around looking for someone to high five him.
