BURBANK, Calif. — Mild-mannered janitor Carl Perry has done what some believe to be impossible, by solving the formula for an upcoming Marvel movie that was left on a chalk board overnight, sources confirm.
“I don’t think I am anything special,” Perry said after it was realized he was the mastermind. “I walked into a room and I just saw this big board that said ‘THOR + ????’ and so I picked up a piece of chalk and wrote ‘Big Space Dog + qips / (easter eggs + credit teaser)’ and finished emptying the garbage. I never considered myself a screenwriter or a mathematician, but it just flowed out of me, like it was completely natural.”
Marvel employees were shocked at the discovery the next morning.
“We all figured that [Kevin] Feige was burning the midnight oil or maybe Favreau came in, we couldn’t believe that the guy who was refurbishing our sneakers had this kind of talent,” Head of Production at Marvel Susie Ramos said. “We hope to have the first draft of the script done later this week and in production in Atlanta by Monday. We already have Ron Pearlman to voice the big space dog. Hopefully, somewhere in the 80 year of Marvel there has been mention of a big space dog that we can claim is canon.”
Talent manager Sara Simpson doesn’t believe that putting the hopes in a lowly janitor is the best hope for the company.
“This is a flash in the pan idea. You need real screenwriters to come up with these ideas. Screenwriters who went to USC because their dad’s went there,” Simpson explained. “You need screenwriters who studied under the Russo Brothers because their last name is also Russo. Natural ability will only get you so far. Connections and networking are the real proof of talent.”
Perry, however, will not be receiving any extra income or bonus for his discovery seeing as he was already a Marvel employee and therefore all work product was considered Marvel IP.
