NORTH POLE – Things are looking up for Dan Weston, a former Naughty Dog employee who quit his career in game development to join Santa’s workshop as an elf. Weston, who previously worked on The Last Of Us: Part II, confirmed that he’s looking forward to his new role and its promise of a better work-life balance.
“Santa really sold me on the culture,” Weston said, as he searched the shop’s storage closet for a medium-sized elf outfit. “Like sure, we’ll be working 24-hour shifts every day in December, but the rest of the year is nice and slow. I did the math, and I won’t even come close to my overtime at Naughty Dog with those December hours. The candy spread is also better here. As nice as the food was back in Santa Monica, we didn’t have unlimited candy.”
Weston also had many great things to say about Santa Claus and the hiring process.
“Santa was great the whole way through,” Weston said, before showing us his work station filled with Skibidi Toilet toys through different phases of the manufacturing process.”He’s just so focused. It’s nice to have a boss that’s a one project guy. No spinoffs. No adaptations. This Santa guy understands scope. And not overdoing it.”
We caught Claus on his way out to deliver presents.
“Weston is a great addition to the shop,” Claus said before slapping his belly and letting out a, ‘ho ho ho.’ “We’ve been increasing our workforce and getting ready for an exciting new chapter in Christmas. Weston and all the other new hires will be pivotal in the next chapter of this workshop. Ho ho ho.”
At press time, the North Pole confirmed that Santa intends to acquire a second holiday through a hostile corporate takeover, and as a result would be increasing work hours for all his happy little helpers.
