The Nazis are the most despicable scum to ever walk the face of the earth. Thankfully they were defeated in World War 2 and have been extinct ever since. Yep, that was the end of them. They were handedly defeated and have stayed dead. They certainly haven’t been festering in the shadows for decades, infiltrating all facets of society and corrupting everything until the Nazi belief system became openly popular among people, mostly men, who have never been able to reckon with the real reasons no one likes them and they’ve never experienced what it’s like for a single human being to ever truly love them.
What a crazy thing that would be, certainly way too outlandish to ever be plausible because like I said the Nazis have been extinct since basically the entire world beat the shit out of them because they were widely recognized as the clear bad guys of modern history. They’re dead and never coming back. And they certainly won’t end up controlling the American government after the American people elect an openly fascist administration who employs people who openly sieg heil on a national stage with no repercussions. Where would you get that insane idea?
Anyway, for no reason in particular, here’s a list of games where you get to kill Nazis because killing Nazis is fun and has been since at least 1939.
Various Call of Dutys
Once upon a time, before the Nazi killing was reserved for online lobbies, Call of Duty had games take place in World War 2. These games let you kill Nazis in glorious Michael Bay-like set pieces and if there’s anything better than killing Nazis, it’s killing hundreds of them in glorious explosions for 7 hours straight. And if you wanted more you could kill all the Nazis again in Nazi Zombie mode.
Various Medal of Honors
Before there was Call of Duty, there was Medal of Honor and frankly it’s a shame that Call of Duty won out because Medal of Honor was awesome. Spearheaded by Steven Spielberg himself, the Medal of Honor games were absolute gems with good stories, good level design and most importantly, lots of Nazi killing.
Indiana Jones and the Great Circle
You know what’s better than shooting Nazis to death? Beating them to death with any blunt object you can find. You know what’s even better than that? Beating them to death with your bare hands. Those are all things that you can do in Indiana Jones and the Great Circle and it is glorious.
The Saboteur
The Saboteur is a cool game where you play as a cool Irishman who helps fight back against the Nazi occupation of Paris. Not only do you kill tons of Nazis in this but you also completely disrupt their operations and that’s a nice little cherry on top. And since this takes place in 1940s France, the soundtrack consists solely of old jazz songs and that’s extra cool. Killing Nazis is sweet but killing them to the sultry tunes of Ella Fitzgerald, that’s pure bliss.
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Despite being a turn based RPG where all the kids are playing a fantasy LARP, South Park: The Stick of Truth still has the decency to include Nazi zombies for you to kill and fart on. Say what you want about Matt and Trey but even they know that every game genre and setting is improved when you include the ability to kill Nazis.
Every Competitive Multiplayer Game
If you are playing a video online against other gamers, it doesn’t matter what you are playing, you’re eventually going to be placed in a match where someone on the other team (and let’s face it, your team) is a Nazi.
Sniper Elite
The Sniper Elite games are a gift to this world because they understand that the only thing more satisfying than shooting a Nazi in the balls is watching the bullet tear through their tiny tesitcles in glorious slow motion x-ray vision.
Zombie Army
Speaking of Sniper Elite, unlike those cowards making Call of Duty, the people making Sniper Elite were smart enough to realize that killing Nazi zombies should not be relegated to an extra mode, there should be four full games dedicated to it.
Captain America Super Soldier
Released as the movie tie-in to Captain America: The First Avenger, this game is essentially a clone of Batman: Arkham Asylum except instead of beating up thugs from New Jersey as Batman, you’re beating up Nazis as Captain America. Because that’s what real patriots do, they beat the shit out of Nazis.
Bloodrayne
Before there was Bayonetta, there was Bloodrayne. These two hack n’ slash hotties have a couple key differences. For one, Bayonetta is a witch, Bloodrayne is a vampire. Bayonetta has glasses, Bloodrayne is a red head and unfortunately neither of them have both of those characteristics. But the main difference is Bayonetta kills demons and Bloodrayne kills Nazis. This makes Bloodrayne better by default.
Company of Heroes
So what if the Nazis are teeny tiny in COH, aren’t all Nazis teeny tiny. I can’t right click those fucks to death fast enough. The only thing worse than a Nazi is Company of Heroes 2.
Wolfenstein
The cream of the crop when it comes to Nazi killing games. You can’t go wrong with any of the Wolfenstein games. In fact you should just play them all. This series essentially created the first person shooter genre. That’s right, FPS games, like all good things, were born out of the act of killing Nazis. Go kill robot Hitler in Wolfenstein 3D. Go slaughter every Nazi in sight when you Return to Castle Wolfenstein. Go disintegrate Nazis into piles of goo in the underrated Wolfenstein from 2009. Become the ultimate Nazi killing machine in Wolfenstein: The New Order and Wolfenstein: The New Colossus. B.J. Blaskowitz is the greatest hero in the history of the universe because he has only one goal, one purpose, one function, and that’s to ruthlessly slaughter Nazis.
Path of Exile 2
There is PvP in Path of Exile 2 and at least one known Nazi player. Go ahead and kill him when his Boosting Ground worker is off the clock.
