Almost 30 years after the franchise’s initial release, the highly anticipated Mortal Kombat 1 was released in September of 2023. With it came lots of excitement, letdowns, and most importantly, memes. Around the same time that Redditors were documenting the horrors that came with the Nintendo Switch version of the game, the femcel corner of the internet was brewing up its own meme: the babygirl. “Babygirl” is a term used to infantilize attractive men, usually ones who are “the darkest, most brooding, melancholic, tortured man you’ve ever laid eyes on.” All that said, there’s no better way to thirst after male fighters than ranking them by how babygirl they are.
#18 Geras
According to the babygirl checklist, a male character needs nihilism and major life trauma to qualify as a babygirl. Whereas Geras was a force to be reckoned with in the original timeline, he’s more of a chill guy I’d have a beer with now that he’s the Keeper of Time in the New Era. As Christopher Walken would say: needs more trauma!
The verdict: Too mentally healthy
#17 Liu Kang
After beating Kronika and winning control of her Hourglass in MK 11, Liu Kang created a New Era that neutralized the threats of the original timeline. While this New Era has plenty of true and quasi-babygirls, Liu Kang’s stiff nature and godly powers leave much to be desired when it comes to uwu factor.
The verdict: Not quite
#16 Raiden
The former God of Thunder retains some semblance of dignity in Liu Kang’s timeline reset when the God of Fire names him Earthrealm’s champion as a consolation prize. However, Raiden’s personality as the honorable protagonist makes him lack some serious babygirl energy.
The verdict: He’s not like the other girls, he’s special
#15 Kung Lao
Name one person you know who’s a Kung Lao main. I’ll wait.
The verdict: Discount Raiden
#14 Johnny Cage
A source of comedic relief at best and annoying at worst, Johnny Cage’s greatest contribution to the MK 1 storyline is his bromance with Kenshi. That scene where he gave the former Yakuza member his sword, Sento? Heartstopper could never.
The verdict: Hoochie daddy
#13 Rain
Rain spent more time in Story Mode striking bad guy poses with Shang Tsung and General Shao than showing off his cool hydromancy skills. Pair this with his difficult-to-master moves, and Rain becomes literally just a guy.
The verdict: Thank you, next!
#12 Smoke
Smoke isn’t Scorpion or Sub-Zero, but a secret third thing. He’s the Lin Kuei that no one seems to remember, and for that reason, he’s a quasi-babygirl.
The verdict: Who is he again?
#11 Scorpion
Kuai Liang, better known as Scorpion, is a Lin Kuei assassin who seeks to protect Earthrealm in the New Era. But really, who cares about all that? Let’s play “Fuck, Marry, Kill” with the three main Lin Kuei. Easy: Kill Smoke, fuck Sub-Zero, and marry Scorpion.
The verdict: I’d have him for girl dinner
#10 Quan Chi
Alongside Shang Tsung, Quan Chi serves as a main antagonist for MK 1. This Netherrealm demon is known for his dark magic, but I like to think of him as an honorary KISS member.
The verdict: Washed up metalhead
#9 Havik
Havik returned to the franchise for the first time in 17 years, and I honestly couldn’t care less when Goro isn’t a playable fighter. But our disappointment aside, this Orderrealmer does have some things going for him babygirl-wise. His thirst for chaos and trauma from Scorpion burning half his face off qualify him for a spot as one of the top 10 babygirls of MK 1.
The verdict: Has the ambitions of a 12-year-old anarchist
#8 Shang Tsung
Now a con artist making a living by selling fake cures in the New Era, the iconic soul-stealing sorcerer conspires with Quan Chi and General Shao to seize control of Outworld. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to screw — ahem, screw over — the ultimate MILF that is Empress Sindel?
The verdict: He’s just like me fr
#7 Omni-Man
If I’m having Scorpion for girl dinner, then Omni-Man’s the appetizer. I mean, seriously, look at those muscles! Oh, he’s a ruthless anti-hero and Viltrumite alien who wants to conquer the galaxy? Anyway, my number is…
The verdict: He’s a 10 but he’s bloodthirsty beyond comprehension
#6 Reiko
Poor Reiko can’t get anything right. The former orphan and General Shao’s lap dog can never seem to shine on his own. Even when he totally had it in the bag at Outworld’s tournament (he made tough guy faces and punched the air repeatedly), he was still — in Raiden’s words — “felled by a simple farmer.”
The verdict: Girlfailure
#5 General Shao
In the New Era, Shao was downgraded from Kahn of Outworld to Empress Sindel’s bitch. But don’t be fooled by General Shao’s newfound inferiority — his beady red eyes and thirst for betrayal qualify him as a babygirl in the making. Even though Empress Sindel may be everything while General Shao is just Ken, I still can’t get him out of my head.
The verdict: My Roman Empire
#4 Reptile
Syzoth, also known as Reptile, is a Zaterran reptilian creature who can transform into a humanoid being. Having lost his family and lived as Shang Tsung’s slave, Reptile has just the right hotness-to-trauma ratio to make him a babygirl.
The verdict: You just don’t get him — he’s a tortured soul
#3 Sub-Zero
That’s right: the Mortal Kombat Universe’s GHOAT (greatest hottie of all time) is one of the top three babygirls in MK 1. All the Lin Kuei’s Grandmaster ever wanted was glory for his clan while wearing a sombrero. He’s so quirky.
The verdict: Quirked up shawty
#2 Baraka
MK 1 introduces new lore for everyone’s favorite toothy Tarkatan, who is now a former Edenian afflicted by disease. Apart from his tragic storyline, Baraka’s raspy growl and razor-sharp blades make him the dreamiest anime waifu of Outworld.
The verdict: Soft and breedable
#1 Kenshi Takahashi
The former Yakuza member has probably spent as much time developing his swordsmanship as he has thirsting for Johnny Cage. When it comes to babygirlisms, Kenshi’s’ got it all: a traumatic backstory, a salty attitude, and an enemies-to-lovers arc with MK fans’ favorite ball-buster.
The verdict: He’s such a wittle babygirl
