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June 15, 2017

Remainder of Bethesda’s E3 Conference Available Next Week for $4.99

Remainder of Bethesda’s E3 Conference Available Next Week for $4.99

LOS ANGELES — Gaming giant Bethesda announced today that fans will be able to download the rest of their E3 presentation next week for a…

June 14, 2017

High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College

High School Girlfriend Announces No Plans to Port Relationship to College

LOS ANGELES — Graduating high school senior Cheryl Dowd announced she has no plans to port what has so far been a successful relationship with…

June 13, 2017

Gamer Changes Facebook Relationship Status After Brief, Disjointed Interaction with E3 Booth Model

Gamer Changes Facebook Relationship Status After Brief, Disjointed Interaction with E3 Booth Model

LOS ANGELES — Barry Reynolds, a 23 year old gamer attending his first E3 has officially changed his Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship”…

June 12, 2017

GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3

GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3

LOS ANGELES — Amid a packed auditorium, EDM music and swirling laser lights, GameStop CEO J. Paul Raines unveiled a used Nintendo 64 console made…

June 9, 2017

Here’s Why I Pre-Ordered the Sucker Edition for $2500

Here’s Why I Pre-Ordered the Sucker Edition for $2500

If you’re going to be a gamer, you need to know a good deal when you see one. When the gaming market went from hard…

June 8, 2017

New Battlefield to Take Place Entirely on Message Board

New Battlefield to Take Place Entirely on Message Board

Having shifted locales recently from World War II to modern times and then going back to World War I, DICE announced today that the newest…

June 7, 2017

Remembering the Time Suge Knight Put a Hit on PaRappa the Rappa

Remembering the Time Suge Knight Put a Hit on PaRappa the Rappa

Not many people know this, but 20 years ago (during turbulent times in both the hip hop and console scenes) Death Row CEO Suge Knight…

June 6, 2017

How Violent Video Games Taught Me to Remove the Pool Steps and Just Watch Loved Ones Swim Around Endlessly Until They Die

How Violent Video Games Taught Me to Remove the Pool Steps and Just Watch Loved Ones Swim Around Endlessly Until They Die

I didn’t want to do it—I really didn’t. I tried to resolve the communication problems I had with my family, but it was like…

June 5, 2017

Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery

Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery

L OS ANGELES — Following decades of suffering, Lara Croft reportedly underwent a successful surgery today to reduce her incredibly large and geometrically pleasing breasts today. “After years…