TOKYO — Konami has confirmed they are partnering with Bloober Team to create a new installment in the long-dormant Silent Hill series, which will be coming out exclusively within your head.
“We are excited to finally give you assholes what you’ve always wanted. A new fully next-generation Silent Hill experience that will exist only in your horrible minds. No longer will you whine and complain under our tweets. Instead, you can just simply shut your eyes and enjoy whatever you weirdos like about this series,” Konami President Takuya Kozuki said. “With the help of Bloober Team, this new piece of Silent Hill will be exactly what you’ve dreamed of, since it will consist entirely of your actual dreams. Please do not worry, however, this will not slow down the development of our various Pachinko machines.”
Bloober Team was excited to work with a world-renowned publisher and a historic video game franchise.
“Well, I’ve always been a fan of Silent Hill and Konami in general,” said Todd Gunther, a Bloober Team member. “It is daunting to try and make every fan happy, especially with how divisive the last games had been. Luckily with our new Imagination Engine™, we can create something that will please everyone. I mean, if we want to get into the brass tacks we are simply selling you an empty box with a Silent Hill logo on it, but just imagine what kind of game could be inside!”
Fans were ecstatic to take another walk through the foggy streets of Silent Hill.
“With it being only inside my mind, I can create whatever I want,” Silent Hill fan Harry Sutherland said. “I can finally remove everything I’ve hated about the latest installments. The overuse of Pyramid Head, gone! The lack of engaging stories, gone! Now I can use my imagination to relive Silent Hill 2 over and over again.”
Reports from insiders also claim that Hideo Kojima and Guillermo del Toro will be returning to work on the new installment, if that’s what your imagination cooks up.