Press "Enter" to skip to content

Gamers Donate Hundreds of Unused Healing Items to Ruth Bader Ginsburg

WASHINGTON — Gamers across America came together this week to donate hundreds of saved healing items to Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who was recently hospitalized.

“Phoenix Downs, Full Restores… I’ve got tons of these things just sitting around in my closet,” said Florida gamer Jordan Brier, who organized the donation effort on Twitter. “I just figured I should save them in case there was a more important fight later on, you know? And now I’m really glad I did, this is it, this is what we were saving them for.”

Justice Ginsberg’s office has been flooded with donations of medkits, potions, and fully cooked rotisserie chickens. One anonymous donation included 48 wheels of cheese and a copy of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch.

“We are so grateful for the outpouring of support from America’s gamer community,” said one member of Justice Ginsburg’s staff. “We are hopeful that Justice Ginsburg will have fully restored her hit points after a long rest. Any extra healing items will be donated to help those affected by the COVID-19 pandemic.”

Though some are concerned that there could be another more pressing need for these items in the next four years, Brier seems confident that these consumables should be used now.

“We can always farm more items later if we need them,” Brier explained. “For now, I can think of no better use for these items than saving the only legitimate reason to vote for Joe Biden in November.”

Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour:

Hello adventurer! Please collect five USD skins a month and head to our Patreon.
Become a patron at Patreon!