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Nathan Fielder Hired by Democrats to Rehearse Losing Upcoming Elections

LOS ANGELES — Canadian comedian Nathan Fielder, creator and star of HBO’s hit series The Rehearsal, has been hired by the Democratic Party to help practice losing scenarios for their upcoming midterm elections. 

“My agent called saying the President was on the line and wanted to hire me for an important project,” Fielder said. “Turns out everybody in the Democratic Party is really desperate to help reduce the uncertainties that come with losing elections. I offered to try to help them come up with some ways to just win the elections, but they declined. They were only interested in preparing for the worst..” 

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer gave his party’s reasoning for partnering with Fielder. 

“By acting out all the different ways the Democratic Party could fail miserably this November, we give ourselves more time to come up with spin for our disappointed base,” said Schumer. “Even though we just passed a new healthcare and Trump was caught potentially selling nuclear secrets, everyone knows we’re gonna fuck it up. That’s why having someone like Nathan who understands human psychology is such an asset. After all, he was the guy who once convinced an ice cream shop to start selling shit-flavored frozen yogurt. If he can’t help us, nobody can.”

Political strategist Charlene Gibson gave further insight into how the party is using this reality comedian to gain insights into their future.

“Mr. Fielder is best known for convincing everyday people to buy into his far-fetched ideas, and at this point, there’s nothing more far-fetched than the idea that the Democratic Party is committed to real, prolonged change,” Gibson explained. “Or, it will at least make for some really good television. Because if politicians can’t make people’s lives better, they can still make it fun to follow along with their friends. Go team!”

At press time, Fielder was also seen helping Republican Senator Liz Cheney rehearse for a news anchor job interview at CNN.