BOISE, Idaho — Local racist Gary Limlett lamented today that with both a black Little Mermaid and black characters in Lord of the Rings, he has been incredibly overworked online.
“Guys, come on, give me some time off,” Limlett said. “I can only be bigoted at one thing at a time here. I’m running myself ragged having to tweet slurs at the cast of The Little Mermaid and drafting my manifesto about The Rings of Power at the same time. I’m doing as best I can, but between all this and my secret all-white militia meetings I just have no time left in the day.”
“There’s just too much TV these days, with all these streaming services,” Limlett explained. “I haven’t even had the time to dig into all the things I’m supposed to be racist about with House of the Dragon and I’ve heard that’s really juicy! Who has the time?”
Fellow racist Darrell Kennedy weighed in on the increasing burden to the racist community.
“This is just what they want, they planned this,” Kennedy posted anonymously online. “I’m so split over both of these things, I can’t even decide who to mail a pipe bomb to. It’s just like when I slipped on that puddle last week: all black people’s fault.”
Limlett also provided insight into his now cramped schedule.
“I’m forced to be racist round-the-clock now,” Limlett said. “Before I could just be racist in my free time or when provoked by say, a latino person being my waiter, but now it’s become a full-time gig. It’s not easy, but it’s my cross to bear, specifically the cross carried by Caucasian Jesus.”
At press time, Limlett reportedly collapsed from fatigue after a new teaser trailer for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever debuted online later that day.